Profile: Matt "the Dorf Dorf Dorf Dorf" Dorfman

Next in the series of profiles is Matt "the Dorf Dorf Dorf Dorf" Dorfman. A later addition to the wiffle world, Matt brought with him an impressive presence both on and off the field. In an attempt to craft the best responses to the weekly wiffle ball emails, Matt dedicated his academic career at BYU to writing. On the field he was a skilled outfielder, bad shortstop, good hitter, and most importantly a wonderful person.
Name:
Dorf “the Dorf” Dorf Dorf Dorfman (et al.)

Favorite Position on the Field:
"Anywhere not named “infield”"

Wiffle Ball Strengths:
Comedic defensive failings. Swinging at every pitch.

Wiffle ball/personal weaknesses:
Comedic defensive failings. Swinging at every pitch.
Also waking up on time.

Best Career Moment:
"Des has alluded in the past to a line drive that caromed off my forehead. That might be my apex in the league’s eyes, but I’m hoping it’s not the moment by which my legacy is defined. I might say the time I hit for the cycle when Dan was pitching, but everybody hit for the cycle when Dan was pitching. Hmm. How about the time I quit wiffs for two weeks due to fielding incompetence but Verlan buoyed my spirits with a pep talk (full of Yiddish wisdom and humor) and I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and everyone admired my courage and I went on to become the offensive non-factor and defensive liability that I am today."

Memorable Awards Received:
"I can’t find my awards sheet and I have a terrible memory. But I got the ROY, thanks in part to the fact that the League looked the other way when Jeff (a non-ROY winner and bad influence) and I had attendance/punctuality problems."

Favorite Drink Choice and Hot Dog topping at RC Willey:
Coke; a second/third/fourth Hot Dog.

Who you disliked most in the league:
"Des. Wait, let me finish. Before you call me racist, let it be known that he was the guy that beaned me in the forehead with the line drive. Also, he
threw a bat at me once. Also, he always had to have his rap music blaring in his headphones in the dugout, and he had that way of obnoxiously twirling a hand towel around his head and shouting “Whoop, dey it is!” every dang time his teammates got on base."

Favorite Piece of wiffle ball folklore (or) favorite aspect of lambert memorial (or) favorite wiffle ball field landmark:
"My favorite piece of wifflelore was when Dave dove into the sticker bushes. I wasn’t technically there, but the accounts that have been described to me have been hysterical.
Typical wiffle ball outfit:
Gray sweatpants. For reasons unclear to me, but apparent to all others, my typical athletic outfit (jersey, Nike shorts) was classified by Pace as “pajamas,” a stigma from which I never quite recovered."(See picture to the right)

Where is He Now:
"Reaping the fruits of robust employment*, thanks to the marketable skills I attained through my difficult degree in Communications. Keep your nose in those books, friends. It pays off in the long run!"

Career Stats: (Click to Enlarge)


*Writing freelance articles about flushometers for about $3/hour